Growing up, I remember hearing this phrase from many adults in my life. While I do believe that actions are important, I am being reminded daily of the importance of words.
When listening to how others talk, I am more than convinced that how and what is said describes the personality and heart of the person.
Now, when I say "words," this has several different meanings and let me explain myself. It can be the overuse of words, the single use of words, or the lack of words.
For example, my poor sister and husband are SOOOOOO tired of me correcting their overuse of words. For my sister its "like." Like, one time, we were like, at the mall, and like we didn't even buy anything that was like, cute! WHOOOOAAAA. Too much. I've even caught myself saying this word waaayyyy too much! I love my sister, but we had to talk and I had to tell her...when you say that ALLL the time between EVERY word, its not only distracting, but you're not sounding as smart as you really are! Not a fun conversation, but we've both vowed to catch each other when saying "like!" When I speak, personally, I would like to put my best foot forward and sound intelligent. :)
On to the next two overused words..."ummm" and "guys." Super annoying. My husband is the king of using "umm" and I have caught myself and others using the word "guys" way too often and for the wrong audience. I feel like "umm" is a thought filler and when used too much, it sounds like you have no idea what you're talking about or where your thoughts are going. I think its better to have silence than use that word. Just saying.
The word "guys" on the other hand I have been keenly aware of as of late. When I was completing my college internship in a first grade classroom, I actually got points taken off of my evaluation for using the word "guys" instead of "boys and girls." At the time I didn't see the problem, but now I see it. When addressing an audience of children or adults for that matter, although it is common place to say "guys" when speaking to the whole, they are not all guys...many are women or girls...so needless to say, don't say "guys" if you're not talking to a room full of guys!
My next little word "pet peeve" would have to be women that curse. It's not lady like, it's not "cool" and honestly, it's just plain unattractive. There is nothing more unprofessional or uncomfortable than being around a woman who has a foul mouth. I can remember vividly when I was on vacation last year and was relaxing in our condo's pool. There was a a group of 20-something girls shop talking and I can't tell you how non-relaxing it was to overhear their conversation. I couldn't even count on two hands how many curse words they let fly...and around children and older adults. Honestly, it was repulsive and just plain rude. Suffice it to say, I left the pool and went somewhere a little more calming. Now, I don't say this to bash anyone who has let a curse word fly, but I challenge you, especially if you are a "lady" to be conscious of your speech. I can't imagine Mother Theresa or Maya Angelou freely cursing in the presence of so many people who look to them for guidance. Your speech should enhance who you are and should inspire others....
"Speech is the mirror of the soul; as a man speaks, so he is."
-Publilius Syrus
My final refinement goal in the area of words and speech is that of having a conversation. Since the use of technology has taken over our world, I am seeing so many people who do not know how to converse. First things first, there should be eye contact. It is so rude to speak to someone and not look at them. It seems like you are not interested or paying attention to what the person is saying. I see this often with individuals on their cell phones who are trying to have a conversation at the same time...Hmmm...not really two way speech.
Also, what happened to the art of asking questions? Conversation is like a ping pong match. There should be questions asked by both parties in order to stimulate conversation! I can't even describe how irritating it is to try and have a "conversation" with someone who asks you no questions about your life or with one that talks completely about theirs. Honestly, it's not really a conversation...
verb (used without object), con·versed, con·vers·ing.
to talk informally with another or others; exchange views,opinions, etc., by talking
EXCHANGE. That is the key word. A conversation is an exchange.
With all of that being said, I'm hoping that I can challenge at least one person to become more conscious of spoken words. Feel free to leave a comment below about your positive/negative interactions/observations of others or your own personal speech!
So let your words speak LOUDER than your actions,
and together we can Restore Refinement...one word at a time!
-Karle
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